Month: May 2018

sign saying "lot for sale" in front of treed lot
Upsizing our House to Downsize our Life

Upsizing our House to Downsize our Life

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In our ongoing efforts to be minimalist-ish, we decided last year that our small-town life was getting too big.

You may already know that we skip the use of our cars when we can, but even so our car commutes have started to annoy us in a big way. The main road in town that takes me to my office is getting more and more congested with each passing month, due to the ever-growing population here and some new high-density residential construction. My car commute is now well over 20 minutes during rush hour, which if you’ve done any research at all on happiness you know is a bad thing.

The interstate is the least-terrible route between our current house and my husband’s work, as well as our current house and Baby J’s daycare. Those drives are still in the 15-20 minute range, but if we’d wanted to spend time every day sitting on the interstate we would have moved to a big city.  …

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view from above of oceanside city
On Renting and Roommates

On Renting and Roommates

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One of the interesting things about modern American life is that it’s easy to find conversations and media reports lamenting the plight of any adult who rents their residence or has roommates. What was standard money-saving behavior in college – living in a small-ish, rented space with other human beings – is apparently pitiable if you are past your mid-twenties.

Meanwhile, the advertising machine that is the news media seems determined to convince us that we all need giant luxury living spaces, that wages are plummeting and housing costs are skyrocketing, that people choosing not to buy homes will cause the entire global economy to implode, and of course that Millennials are either to blame for all this or are the helpless victims of all this, depending on which article you read. …

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kid looking out window at plane
Traveling with Foster and Adoptive Kids

Traveling with Foster and Adoptive Kids

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This is a topic I get asked about often, so I wanted to share this interview that I did in 2016. I have revised and updated it here. These pictures are all the real deal from our family travels, so forgive the blurriness, pixelation, and/or general low quality that you’ll see in some of them. That’s just cracker crumbs and sunscreen on the camera lens. 

First, tell us about you, your family, and your travels.

When I was little, my parents were very insistent about all of their kids trying new things and seeing new places. Sometimes that meant camping (usually in the rain) near our home in Washington, sometimes it meant trips across the country by train or plane to see family. As we kids got older, it included more difficult backpacking, biking, and skiing trips and then international travel and things like scuba diving and riding camels. …

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Sign: "warning! serious injury or death possible"
The Most Dangerous Thing About Our Adventures

The Most Dangerous Thing About Our Adventures

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In the previous post I made a confession about my newly-founded, totally irrational fear of boats. Today it seems fitting to talk about some of the dangers that are actually present in our travels and adventures. Ironically, while we do get a lot of questions about safety, the most menacing dangers are never the ones people ask us about.

Part of loving travel and adventure – even if you’ve figured out how to minimize your own anxiety about it – is that people are happy to constantly remind you about all the things that could go wrong, while simultaneously calling your decision-making ability into question. …

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small boat in water full of ice
When Adventure Turns Scary

When Adventure Turns Scary

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The summer travel season is just around the corner, and so I’ve decided it’s time for a confession.

Let me preface this by saying I have always enjoyed a moderate amount of risk and a high amount of adventure in my life. I’m pretty well-adjusted and emotionally stable. I tend to not dwell too much on the past or think too hard about things that I can’t control.

And yet, a little over a year ago, I completely lost my mental and emotional $#&! because I spent an hour positively sure that I was going to drown in the Straight of Gibraltar. …

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coins of different international currencies
Used Biking Gear and Other April Spending

Used Biking Gear and Other April Spending

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Holy cow it’s mid-May! So it’s well past time to sum up what we spent in April.

A quick reminder: these spending reports are an effort to keep myself accountable to the idea that doctors do not have to spend a totally ridiculous amount of money to live well and love life. And while many people are happy to acknowledge that doctors over-spend, very few doctors are actually up for sharing their personal spending (not that I blame them – putting all this out there in public is an odd experience). That being said, we’re big believers in transparency. As a bonus, looking at our spending this critically makes us really have to evaluate if we’re putting our money where our values are. …

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boys in front of fountain pool
A Letter from a Foster Mom

A Letter from a Foster Mom

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I am very excited and proud to present the following guest post. Zella Kintsugi is the biological mother of three, the adoptive mother of two, and the foster mother of two.  She and her husband have been involved with foster care and adoption since 2014. 

A Letter from a Foster Mom

I do not have it all figured out. I lose my temper. I use words I should not at times that are likely not appropriate. I am not kind, loving, and generous in every situation in which I find myself. …

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two adults and two kids on pier in the fog
Everything You Want to Know (But Are Afraid to Ask) About Our Experience With Foster Care

Everything You Want to Know (But Are Afraid to Ask) About Our Experience With Foster Care

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I totally get it. You want to ask about our foster/adoptive family, but you’re not sure how. You’re not sure what the appropriate terms are for whatever is going on. Or if you’re allowed to ask if we couldn’t get pregnant and tried a bunch of fertility treatment and this is the fallout of that not working. Or if you can ask about the money involved. Or the race of the kids. Or where they came from. Or whether I’ll give you vague and semi-patronizing answers that will make you wish you’d kept your questions to yourself.

We are big believers in honesty and we love it when people show interest in our family and ask us questions about foster care and adoption. So below are some Q & A about our experience – with questions we’ve been asked before and questions I suspect you want to ask because I always wanted to ask tons of questions when I met foster/adoptive parents before I was one of them. I’ve done my best to answer these in the most straightforward and honest way possible.  …

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